Following some recent events, I’ve decided to do a follow up based on my last blog ‘moving forward. Once again my blog, social media pages and online discussions have been quiet. This has been due to further personal issues and family bereavements. Now I’m pleased to say that things are moving forward.
My mind is still in a battlefield and my faith/beliefs are still mixed. However, I have learnt a lot by exploring different areas of faith, spirituality and beliefs rather than remain single-minded. Being more open to ideas has started to make me think outside the box in many areas of life.
I feel like I’ve moved forward as I am out of the black hole I was in. June 2021 was a wake-up call as I almost sank into depression. Part of the reason was due to being in a job I was not happy in. The following month I was offered a promotion and have now started a new job. I also decided never to allow guilt to take over my mind to the point where I talk badly about myself.
Another reason for this was about self-image. I had issues with my hair once again and had to cut it short. I was not confident about going about short hair, so I wore wigs at first. Then I felt like I had a double identity. I would wear a wig to work and then not wear one outside of work. Then I became bold one day and decided just to go out and show my short hair all the time. Also, the weather was too hot to be wearing wigs!
Eczema flare-up in July 2021
Alongside getting used to having short hair once again, I had minor eczema issues. Following attending a women’s conference in an air-conditioned room, I noticed that my skin became worse. My face was dry all over and my legs became blotchy. Besides hormones (time of month related) and the air conditioning, I’m not sure what else caused the flare-up.
I began to feel conscious again about wearing dresses and skirts above the knee. I was strong enough not to stop wearing those types of clothing I just became conscious. I remained strong and was still open and vulnerable about my feelings. One day I did break down in front of a family member. They reminded me of how beautiful I was. Also if it wasn’t for me having eczema then ‘Deeper Than Eczema’ would not exist. This definitely made me feel better.
Update on my moving forward action points
- Saying out loud positive affirmations daily. – I have re written my affirmations 3 times over the last month. This is because I want them to be clear as possible and all in present tense. They cover all life areas including blessing/gratitude, health, career, finances, family, relationships etc.
- At the end of my day reflect, pray and write down what I am grateful for. – The daily reflections have not been constant. Instead, I ensure that I include gratitude in personal affirmations.
- Record in my journal about what is going on in my life including expressing feelings – this is still happening, I enjoy journaling and recording on what is going on my life. Writing down my feels and thoughts does help me to think and reflect a lot about life. I can also look back and see how far I have come.
- Becoming more organised in planning my spare time –Sometimes I must admit things do not always go to plan. At times I juggle things around and working on ways to stop procrastinating. I also make sure I have some self-care time. Whether that is socialising or watching Netflix
- I am not allowing negative and toxic people into my life – I’m right on track with this one. I don’t have anyone around me who is negative or toxic.
- I am not allowing my past experiences and failures dictate my future – This is still a working progress and going well. This is included as part of my affirmations.
- Personal development investments – I finished my set of coaching sessions where I spoke about improving my confidence, goal setting and imposter syndrome. Following these sessions these areas are still a working progress.
- I have set people in my life that I can be accountable to – These people are still in my life and still accountable to each other.
I am not yet at my final destination but pleased to say how proud I am. I believe that I have come a long way since May 2021. There is still more self-development to work on but happy I am not where I was.
Stay blessed x